Last night, all the emotion of job loss hit me like a ten-ton truck, and I couldn’t help sobbing.
This wasn’t crying because a movie was sad or touching. It wasn’t PMS “I hate the world” crying.
This was deep, from-the-stomach, body-shaking weeping.
And it was obnoxiously cleansing.
Sometimes, when we’re expecting the curve ball, we forget how much it will still sting when it hits. We think we’ll be prepared, and that we’ve got a handle on things. We think we’ll be able to handle it with the cool resolve of Spuds McKenzie.
Yet we are upset. We’re angry. Fit to be tied, even. Mentally, we think it’s silly to be upset over something we were expecting…but we can’t help it. We feel we’ve been wronged. Or, in some cases, we’re even upset with ourselves for letting the other shoe drop in the first place; it really should have been set on the shelf better!
For me, that’s when the emotions hit, and hit hard. All the voices of self-doubt I’d been ignoring start shouting all at once, making me cry harder. All of a sudden, I need to cry; I need to get all that emotion out so it doesn’t just sit in the pit of my stomach and make me sick!
I need to let myself blubber, no matter how silly it feels.
And though I may end up staying up all night with a massive headache, it’s well worth it to be cleansed of all of that poison, so that I can look to the morning and see that everything will be okay.
And a beautiful morning it is!
Question: Have you ever experienced grief that was unrelated to death or sickness? How did it make you feel? How did you deal with it?