The Sims 3 is a PC game wherein one can create people, houses, and even entire towns to their specific liking. You can give each adult person (or sim) up to five traits. These traits can include anything from athletic to grumpy to workaholic.
About a year ago, they released an expansion called Supernatural. It introduced such fun things as the ability for sims to be fairies, werewolves, and even ghosts! It also released new traits, including “supernatural fan/skeptic”, “brooding”, and “proper”.
I am, without a doubt, a brooding sim.
From The Sims wiki:
Brooding Sims often can’t help themselves from contemplating the riddles, mystery, and meaning of life. Sometimes the weight of these incredibly deep thoughts can become a distraction, and can actually slow down the creative process slightly.
While I often feel inspired and even overwhelmed by the amount of creative possibilities in any given day, I also suffer terribly from my brooding trait. Sometimes I just want to stare into a fire and contemplate the meaning of meaning.
I blame this particular trait for why, despite all the ideas and creativity I have, I have yet to publish anything or even finish a proper novel.
When I sit down to really think about it, the idea of sending my stuff out into the world for the public to critique, criticize, mock, and generally rip apart, I want to hide all of my characters away in a protective bunker far away from prying eyes.
Perhaps that’s selfish. It’s hard to say. I know that there would be those who would love them. Who would perhaps love them even more than I do. Perhaps even love them too much…and that’s scary too; ever since I put words to .doc files, I’ve lived in perpetual fear of coming across very weird and inappropriate slash fiction of my characters. Silly, I know, but I can’t help it.
So here I am, caught in between wanting to present these wonderful stories to the public so that others may enjoy them, and the paralyzing fear of seeing them ripped apart either by extreme distaste or extreme obsession.
Hopefully, my Camp NaNo memoir will help with some of these fears. Perhaps after writing about some things I’ve actually been through (and even incorporating some of my characters into it vis-à-vis what fiction I was writing at the time), I can get enough emotional distance for it not to be such a very dramatic problem!
I’ll always be a brooding sim, but perhaps through this process I can also become a productive one.